This is the second part of an educational series I’m doing on domestic violence and abusive relationships. Too often people forget that manipulation, emotional and verbal abuse are still forms of abuse and should not be tolerated in any relationship. Read the first part here.
Last week, I shared a story about a friend who is in an unhealthy, emotionally abusive relationship and my attempt to help her get out of it. I also recommended information from Laura’s House about how to help a friend who is in an abusive relationship.
From my training as a certified domestic violence crisis advocate, I have more information about domestic violence and abusive relationships that I’ll be sharing the next few weeks.
Some people may not even realize that they’re in an unhealthy relationship. That’s why I’m providing this quiz from Laura’s House:
Are You in an Abusive Relationship?
(Answer yes or no to each question.)
- Before you met your partner, you had more friends than you do now (or saw them more than you do now).
- You used to be more outgoing and involved with your friends, family or outside activities.
- You often cry or are very sad.
- If your partner calls or texts you, you must call him/her back immediately.
- He/She told you he/she loved you early in the relationship.
- He/She is jealous if you look or speak casually with another person of the opposite sex.
- He/She accuses you of behavior you don’t actually do.
- He/She is aggressive in other areas of his/her life. For example, he/she punches holes in walls or closets or throws things when angry.
- He/She frequently rough-houses or play-wrestles with you.
- He/She makes excuses for his/her poor behavior or says it’s your fault.
- He/She has a “tragic” home life. He/she was physically or verbally demeaned and/or has parents who are alcoholics or drug users.
- He/she is an alcoholic or drug user.
- He/she frequently gives you “advice” about your choice of friends, clothes and other decisions.
- He/she calls you demeaning names, then laughs and tells you he/she was only kidding or that you are too sensitive.
- You have become secretive or started lying to your partner since you began dating your partner.
- You are very miserable when you are apart from your partner.
- You have to explain yourself to your partner or often say that you’re sorry.
- Your partner makes most of the decisions.
- He/she makes you afraid by giving threats, intimidating looks or gestures.
- Your partner doesn’t take your concerns or opinions seriously.
- Your partner threatens to kill himself/herself if you leave them.
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship. Please seek professional help or advice. One resource is to call the national domestic violence national hotline at 866-498-1511.
To be continued…